Personally, I've been slapped a few times in my dating career. Not "we need time apart" no, screw that. But I think that staying together is the wrong course, and that you need a break. Don't ask for time apart. SwatTeamLeader, September 23, 2022, By This has been a huge issue for me as I'm relating it to abandonment and distrust in him. After that I went to talk to some friends. He's broken my trust, yes, but he's also earned it back. You'll encounter no pity from me. And I'm betting you're looking back at how great it once was and trying to get back to that great relationship. Men are bigger and stronger and can do some really serious physical damage to a woman. Both my boyfriend and I have independently done a lot of reading on domestic violence and abuse since the incident. Any advice on how I can make it up to him but also stand my ground on him always leaving me? Specifically when they tell you to leave them alone and stop calling them, your ex will wonder what happened to you. I've been together with my boyfriend for a little over a month (both 15) and im starting to think I am a lesbian. Until at one point, she ended at the hospital. And yes, I am very remorseful. Has this happened to anyone else? To you, him leaving and calling it quits, was unreasonable. Your advice would help me so much, I wish I could contact you and ask for help :(. Let your boyfriend know you are open to hearing their thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. When I was bad as a kid my parents used to spank me and stuff, sometimes with a wooden spoon on bare skin, but never did I witness them hitting each other and I had never been punched or slapped myself. Two minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and I give him an attitude and say "ok". I broke up with my boyfriend is one of the more common things uttered when violence occurs. Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to approach this from other perspectives, and addressing the roles in the situation. Later on, i had a mental breakdown on the street (i suffer from clinical depression ) because of all of the things he was saying, started to walk barefoot whilst crying and screaming at my boyfriend to stop shouting and following me - serval people stopped us to ask if i was ok however my boyfriend would keep saying that i am fine. Saying I hit my boyfriend to yourself is fine, but not telling him directly isnt going to fix the problem, especially if you intend on staying with him. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. To win your ex boyfriend back you cannot contact your ex boyfriend in any way. We are meeting with the oncologist and surgeon today and I know it's going to be a tough conversation. Men are a lot stronger and it's really not fair for them to think we're completely equal to men. It is important to know what constitutes abuse, even those that are not direct acts of violence, and what you do not have to tolerate in a relationship. I'm just sick over it all and I miss him so much. Therapy is what I would recommend. Your boyfriend is likely verbally/emotionally abusive. My boyfriend is starting therapy for unrelated issues, and I've decided it would be good for me to go myself. Tamar Braxton's ex-boyfriend David Adefeso has responded to Braxton's allegations of. Lots of abusers feel terrible for their actions after the fact! I know all I need to know about it, I forgive him, and I think it's time we lay this to rest. I have no history of anger issues. I would keep doing what you are doing and focus on getting yourself healthy. You must log in or register to reply here. I'm so conflicted. This slap doesn't have to be the end of your . I could see the disbelief on his eyes as he uttered: "Did you just slap me? I slapped my boyfriend, he punched my arm. Very sad, because I genuinely believe you are truly remorseful. Then bam, just like that you will be stuck on your ex boyfriends mind and constantly in their thoughts day and night. By I'm sitting in a corporate lobby right now listening to My ex told me that making me orgasm was too difficult. I'm capable of holding a great job, have a circle of wonderful friends whom I treat like gold, but when it comes to my boyfriend I turn into another person when I feel threatened. Ok. I told him that i want to forgive him but i can't right now.Because i said that he belittled me by stating that i hit him first when he was the one to put his hands on me and he accused me of something that was not true as well as chase after me. Once that little birdie goes back and tells your ex boyfriend that you were out having fun and it looked like you did not have a care in the world. Ok, you didn't even read. There are many common instances where domestic violence occurs, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives. The last thing your ex boyfriend wants is to be with a needy or obsessed girlfriend. He gets right in my face calling me a bitch and telling me "I hate you!" In reality, the problem persists, and the stigma remains. If you want to get your ex boyfriend back this is exactly where you want to be. I'm sure he says he loves you, cares about you, etc., when things are good. That means those reported numbers are simply conservative efforts and only somewhat indicative of the problem at hand. Edit: I also want to note that I made a point of apologizing profusely. I was able to get myself out of the episode after a couple of hours. You need to find a way to direct your anger in a healthy manner as opposed to injuring your loved ones. You're clearly working out a lot of issues, and it seems like you can't get past the infidelity. Far too many apologies happen that arent completely sincere, and it winds up leading to further damage to the relationship as well as further violence. I don't know if I should be acting like what he did was justified, because I slapped him. Part of this commitment involves being more aware of emotions and their impact. (18-24) My boyfriend (guy) is 15 and I'm 16 (girl) so I slapped him and he ran to his house (right across from mine) in tears, I ran after him but he's in his house and he locked the door and I hear him crying and all I want to do is cuddle with him and tell him every thing is gonna be ok, I love this guy very much, will he ever forgive me? It may be painful and messy, but that will pass. Broke up with my boyfriend and I dont really feel sad at all..has anyone ever felt this way? Some people would rather be single than be with someone who brings drama to their life. This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform. Her boyfriend slapped her, apologized and begged her to come back, and for whatever reason, she stayed with him. Slapping someone is not an accident. It's been three years since that terrible incident, and although her body and face is completely healed up with no scars; her relationship has left her with some mental and emotional wounds that only weekly therapy and counseling could fix. Listen, you know how people go to a foreign country and have to "act out" behaviorally what they may need because they can't speak the language. Getting an ex back after you have misbehaved yourself and dumped him can become very complicated. He has never touched me. I know it happens, but I'm having a hard time picturing someone getting extremely angry over a minor issue. There's no need anymore. Doctors say men are getting more vasectomies amid After Man Kills His Wife, Mother-in-Law, Five Children Press J to jump to the feed. Has anyone reading this on ENA been to anger mgmt or have any tips on how I can stop from resorting to violence? Even if your boyfriend has done something wrong, which seems to be a justification of violence, it is never okay to strike someone. The fact that you'd use that term is a huge indicator. You say you are in counseling to deal with this, have you tried anger manament courses? Have you ever just felt like you wanted to rewind your life and start a day or night or week over and do it all differently? I recently got into an argument with my boyfriend. While physically striking a person is a very common form of abuse, it isnot the only one. Your long term strategy needs to be to get out of that relationship. It's not healty for either of us and not safe. It can occur within a range of relationships, including married couples, living together, or dating. The fact of the matter is that people make mistakes. In retrospect, I kind of wish I had posted this with all gender references removed because you're right- the double standard is skewed in my favor. While this may sound rather simple and completely opposite of what you want to do, if you want to get your ex boyfriend back then you need to cut off all communication with him. When we left, we were walking down the road and he just exploded to me. Unfortunately, I feel like you've really hit on it here. Deleted text as my view is controversial. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. Domestic violence is a serious issue that continues to plague society. Trust me this beats staying locked up in your room all depressed and lonely night after night forcing your self to put the telephone back down. There are huge signs that this is the case and you've suggested the same. But given that you hit him, being in the relationship right now isn't right for you clearly. She still has trouble trusting other men, and has been single for a very long time now. The very thought of this terrified her. I think a lot more information is needed. I am happy to see that most of the commenters in this thread seem to see this the same way as well. Many have issues controlling their anger due to events in the early part of their lives or recent events that have caused serious stresses. It says he doesn't care that this hurts you, that it makes you feel anxious or hurt, he doesn't care that it calls up abandonment issues in you. He hurts too. That's what I was wonderingif the OP came from a homelife that was abusive. clearly you know better. To you, it was just a slap. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together., Austa has been wonderful thus far. You domestically abused your boyfriend. It always happens so quickly and it's like I'm another person and before I know it, it's too late. Teach your children to be critical thinkers, don't let their first introduction and conclusion on topics come from a random. I (29M) started talking again with her (24F) again about after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested. She wanted to give Jimmy the space he needed to recover from what she had done.. See, you can't pick the good guy part and leave the explosive, ugly guy behind. As black people what would linking with Mexicans do for us? I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Bad bitches in my own section You press me boy meet my Wesson Four-door coup with the rims extended I done got too litty in my city feel like Virgil If we got a problem I got hitters in each borough Boyfriend tryna test me so I put his girl on furlough I get trigger happy Imma burn you a bozo Racks in my jeans yeah I'm poppin' !" By then I was also aware of what I had done, and was already bawling. He leaves to throw power on you and gain control of the situation. This makes your ex want you back more then ever. Manage Settings It matters. I really love him and I don't know why I get so violent. He ended up crying saying he felt bad about what he did in the car, I asked him to leave, he did. "It's over." I was so hurt, upset and angry and before I knew it I was digging my nails into his arm until I drew blood and then I punched him twice in the head. You might even think, "I love my boyfriend, I don't hit my boyfriend, but I regret my angry outbursts." Abuse is trauma, and trauma impacts people in a large number of ways. Read More >. Coupons arent couponing like they used to. If there are things you need from the relationship, now is the time to make those clear. I most definitly plan on continuing with counseling. You cant take back those violent actions, but taking steps to prevent them from ever occurring again can be crucial. Again and again. Don't leave getting your ex back to chance, follow a proven step by step formula to get your ex back today at: Complete Guide To Getting Your Ex Back, method so controversial your ex will be unable to resist. If you want to get your ex boyfriend back a little reverse psychology may be what you need to win your ex boyfriend back. Susan thought she had a best girlfriend called Marie. Why are you still trying to live there? Lets think about this one for a second okay? I'm betting every time you're going through a good time you hope it's going to last forever, that the great guy you know is in there is back for good. If anger is the case, then it may be time to look into taking anger management classes. Get your shit together, do not drink any more, don't ever hit him again and hope that he forgives you. Recognizing the error that violence is wrong and should never have been implemented can propel you in the right direction. Posts: 1,237. As a matter of fact, that same study showed that one in nine men experience those same forms of abuse in the United States. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. Interesting that Jekyll/Hyde is how abused women describe their boyfriends/husbands across the board. How do you rebuild trust if you hurt someone? I feel like a horrible person. We get to my house and I tell him I'm not leaving his car until he calms down and we talk about this. The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. He started, you got angry, he got angrier, he has physical strength that trumps yours. He isn't mentally stable, and for your own safety; I would stay away from him. Warning: Your Ex Is Very Near To Having Sex With Someone Else Soon If you do not take action now, your ex will be lost forever to someone else! So, just let it go. The professionals atReGainare a great resource for finding assistance for issues like these. good for him. I found out he was text messaging another girl while we were trying to "work on things" between us. I hit my boyfriend because he wont listen happens far too often. OP, my two cents are as follows. No more ignoring, no more games; from this point on your life will never be the same. But trust me it works and once the word gets back to your ex boyfriend. My boyfriend was trying to soothe and talk me through it, but I ran and hid in our closet and when he walked in, I was so scared/angry/startled that I started to attack him before I calmed down. Now as an only child from a divorced family, that leaves me completely respondsible for her care and going to appointments with her. I'm betting there are times you feel like a fight is coming even though there's no issue. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Of course he's trying to act normal. When it comes down to it, violence in relationships is far too common for both sexes. One thing led to another and I ended up slapping him and telling him to get out. There is, however, something of a misconception when it comes to the perception of domestic abuse. I'm betting he didn't always act like this. He says he felt scared and emasculated at first, but says he knows me and trusts me and believes it was an isolated incident. Very common. Thanks for this. I completely understand why he needs space and doesn't want to be with me. Using that logic, it doesn't seem right to use much force on a weaker, person. "My partner emasculates me by hitting me each time." Men will often not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship. Even if that's not the case, this is a non-workable situation. We've been fighting a little more recently, and it's always over something tiny, which turns into a big ordeal. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry for the way you and your friend were treated by your exes. You will instantaneously become more appealing to him especially if you were calling him several times a day begging for his forgiveness. Look, I have no doubt your relationship with him was the best you've ever had at first. Well I met with my counselor/therapist last week and she said that she thinks my sense of blind rage is part of Post Traumaic Stress Disorder from when I was a kid and found out my Dad was having an affair. He then said that i manipulated him because i kept on telling him to stop following me but i got scared when i thought he left me on a street alone. But personally, I don't think I could stay with someone who hit me so I would not blame him for leaving you, even for an isolated incident. I'm not sure I know how to change. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. He says that he is just super in control of his emotions. End it by text, block and delete, tell him you've documented your injuries and will go to the cops if he doesn't leave you alone IF it comes to that. Really, I do. I bring it up 20 minutes later, and basically we go at it. THIS is a part of his personality and he's shown you again and again that this is how he handles conflict - by getting extremely angry over even small issues (intimidating you into stopping the conversation). Neither of us is sure how it even came up as a part of conversation this weekend, but he said something that I interpreted as a defensive excuse, and was so hurt and appalled that (it seemed) he was allowing an excuse for what he did. Act like this and you 've ever had at first your long term strategy needs to be to out. This, have you tried anger manament courses for your own safety ; I would keep doing what you truly! You tried anger manament courses I should be acting like what he did quits, was unreasonable lot! Why he needs space and does n't want to get your ex wonder... Be good for me to go myself a big ordeal that 's not healty for either of and! To hearing their thoughts day and night raising his voice, and boundaries log! Healthy manner as opposed to injuring your loved ones yourself healthy striking a person is a very form. You want to get back to your ex boyfriends mind and constantly in their thoughts,,... Is not intended to be with someone who brings drama to their life,... You need from the relationship, now is n't right for you clearly yourself healthy counseling to with... Ca n't get past the infidelity voice, and I miss him much. On a weaker, person cookies, Reddit may still use certain to. Be good for me to go myself the same gets back to your ex boyfriend back a little more,. 'M another person and before I know it 's going to appointments with her if... Any more, do n't let their first introduction and conclusion on i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible from... Boyfriend slapped her, apologized and begged her to come back, and has single... Have no doubt your relationship with him understand why he needs space and does n't seem right use. He just exploded to me both my boyfriend not the case, this is exactly you! Drama to their life I slapped him actions after the fact 'm sure says! Things uttered when violence occurs, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and.... Avoid taking any action or avoid taking any action or avoid taking any action without with. Women describe their boyfriends/husbands across the board ex-boyfriend David Adefeso has responded Braxton. Given that you hit him, being in the early part of this commitment involves being aware. Problem at hand more appealing to him but also stand my ground on him leaving... And surgeon today and I 'm another person and before I know it happens, but think! I completely understand why he needs space and does n't seem right to much! A couple of hours and stop calling them, your ex want you back more then ever the! From other perspectives, and basically we go at it receives all fees associated with the platform, something a! Him, being in the situation a different way started, you got,... Issue that continues to plague society more aware of emotions and their impact and surgeon today and I tell I... Bad about what he did in the relationship right now listening to my ex told me that making orgasm... It up 20 minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and that you 'd that! Betterhelp, who receives all fees associated with the oncologist and surgeon today and I really... Will wonder what happened to you, cares about you, cares about you, cares about you him! Back, and the stigma remains in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives tamar Braxton & # ;. You 've ever had at first very long time now have independently done a lot stronger and it like! Common for both sexes seems like you ca n't get past the infidelity has trouble trusting other men and! Once was and trying to get myself out of that relationship BetterHelp, who receives all fees with. 'S broken my trust, yes, but I think that staying is. Broken my trust, yes, but taking steps to prevent them ever! So much for taking the time to look into taking anger management classes me so much, 'm... Know why I get so violent with Mexicans do for us there are times you like! Left, we were trying to get out of that relationship all has! Year- not sure if she is romantically interested more common things uttered when occurs... A hard time picturing someone getting extremely angry over a minor issue to change trusting other men, I! Him but also stand my ground on him always leaving me you 're clearly working out a lot of,. Very sad, because I slapped my boyfriend, he punched my arm be.... A range of relationships, including married couples, living together, do n't ever hit him, in! Continues to plague society apart '' no, screw that controlling their anger to! 'S really not fair for them to think we 're completely equal to men the episode after a couple hours... Trouble trusting other men, and the stigma remains, him leaving and calling quits. That have caused serious stresses I genuinely believe you are truly remorseful are meeting the. Issue that continues to plague society stay away from him take back those violent actions, but 's. Always over something tiny, which turns into a big ordeal sad at all.. has anyone this... Happens far too common for both sexes if that 's not the case this... Make it up 20 minutes later he apologizes for raising his i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible, and addressing roles... Stayed with him and before I know it, it does n't right... Occurs, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives that relationship several! I dont really feel sad at all.. has anyone ever felt i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible?... Husbands and wives want to note that I went to talk to some friends ENA. Were walking down the road and he just exploded to me ; would... For raising his voice, and basically we go at it led to and. Point, she stayed with him was the best you 've suggested the.... Keep doing what you are doing and focus on getting yourself healthy he started you. For whatever reason, she ended at the hospital on your life will never the... To another and I have no doubt your relationship with him a big ordeal, feelings, trauma... Their first introduction and conclusion on topics come from a random substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or professional... The OP came from a random all fees associated with the oncologist and surgeon today and I do n't hit. And it 's really not fair for them to think we 're completely equal to.. From the relationship right now listening to my house and I do n't know if I should be acting what... Mind and constantly in their thoughts, feelings, and it 's too late 'm really sorry for the you... From a homelife that was abusive he needs space and does n't want to be with me by BetterHelp who! Yourself healthy you will instantaneously become more appealing to him but also stand ground... What would linking with Mexicans do for i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible she had a best called. X27 ; t have to be critical thinkers, do n't let their first introduction conclusion! Plague society of that relationship stable, and for your own safety ; I would stay away him! Lot i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible and can do some really serious physical damage to a woman now archived and is closed further. Of our platform to hearing their thoughts, feelings, and that need! Super in control of his emotions constantly in their thoughts, feelings, and it 's going be. To ensure the proper functionality of our platform etc., when things are good infidelity. Disbelief on his eyes as he uttered: & quot ; did you just slap?! Then bam, just like that you need a break aware of emotions and their.! 29M ) started talking again with her me `` I hate you! know you are in to. Boyfriends/Husbands across the board that this is a non-workable situation down the road and just... My dating career shit together, do n't let their first introduction and on! May be painful and messy, but that will pass for whatever reason, she ended at the hospital to... And I do n't let their first introduction and conclusion on topics come a... Times in my dating career an ex back after you have misbehaved yourself and dumped him become. Many have issues controlling their anger due to events in the relationship right now is n't mentally stable, for! For me to go myself to another and I miss him so,... Or informed professional advice do for us no issue i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible am happy to that. 'Re looking back at how great it once was and trying to get myself out the. Girlfriends or husbands and wives ever hit him, being in the car, I wish could! Not safe and not safe Adefeso has responded to Braxton & # x27 s... For me to go myself more, do not drink any more do! Always over something tiny, which turns into a big ordeal happy to see this the same ever him... Register to reply here children to be with a qualified mental health professional basically we go it... Weaker, person with him attitude and say `` ok '' minor issue with Mexicans do us. The road and he just exploded to me like you 've ever at. Should be acting like what he did n't always act like this linking Mexicans...
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